It is incredibly difficult to believe people when they tell me I am good at something. When I played softball, I was praised for being good and had the awards to show it. When people gave me compliments on how well I played they would see my responses as humble because I honestly thought I could be better. Even when I was very much at the top of my game, I felt the need to be better since I felt as if I wasn’t perfect yet. I was never going to be perfect, but I felt like I needed to be. I was 100% insecure in my abilities even though I knew I was good at what I did.
As I read through Ephesians 1 and 2, we are being told who God says we are, but my perfectionist-self used to think, but could I be better than what you say I am because I must be the best at everything I do. These are true and honest thoughts that I subconsciously know I will never be the best at everything I do. God says:
We are chosen by Him
We are His masterpiece
We are a part of His family
We are created by God
He designed us and we are not mistakes
His son died for us so we could be forgiven
He wants us
He shows us grace so we can be saved
We have a future because He loves us
We are children of God
As a perfectionist I would have taken this list and questioned it to pieces because of the insecurities that are deep down inside of me. True question from this perfectionist: I am a child of God but how do I become the best child of God?! True story. I blame it on having a competitive nature. When you have been so deep into different identities and your insecurities it is hard to unlearn them, but it is an important part of the process that needs to be done. Being a perfectionist is not the worst thing in the world, but we must understand that regardless we are all the things God says we are even if we can’t fully believe it yet, we are working on it.
If there is one thing I ever want you to take from walking through this perfectionist and identity crisis life of mine is this: Your identity will be tied to whoever or wherever you give your heart to. So, give your heart to Jesus.
Soak in the words from Ephesians 1 and 2 and realize that even though you may not get everything right and you aren’t the best at everything you will never be a mistake. God makes no mistakes.
Somethings to think about & journal if you are feeling spunky:
- Do you always strive to be the best at everything?
- Are you confronted with any insecurities that may stop you from believing what God says you are?
- Write down everything God says from Ephesians 1 & 2, then meditate on it.